My Fitness Journey

Hi friend! So happy you are here! :) My name is Amy and I am from small town Minnesota but currently living in San Diego, California! I am 22 years old and I have maintained a 120 pound weight loss with the help of VSG (Vertical sleeve gastrectomy) surgery. For my first blog post, I wanted to share my journey to weight loss surgery and a little bit about my past here so you can get to know me and my journey a little bit more!

The toughest obstacle or challenge I’ve had to face in my weight loss journey thus far has been rebuilding a healthy relationship with food. I think a lot of people struggle with this and most just don’t speak about it. For me, personally, food was a coping mechanism that I leaned on heavily. This started during my parents’ divorce when I was 7 years old, it was a very stressful and traumatic time in my life and I depended on food. Food was a comfort blanket during that time. I was trying to fill the emptiness I was feeling with it… in hopes that it would make what I was going through a little bit more bearable. I developed that coping mechanism at such a young age and it just stayed with me into my adult life - up until now! 

I had always struggled with my weight since then. I went on my first diet pill when I was 9 years old - I was in 4th grade. This continued throughout elementary and highschool, on and off diet pills… yo-yo dieting for SO LONG. Sure they would work temporarily, but as soon as I would go off of the diet pill I would gain the weight right back. Why? Because I had an unhealthy relationship with food. I was never given the resources to learn how to manage my relationship with food and how to not use it as a coping mechanism. Instead I was given a diet pill. 

When I was 18 years old I moved 2,000 miles away from little ole small town Minnesota to San Diego where I knew nobody. This is when I quickly fell into my lowest of lows - rock bottom you could say. I felt super alone and overwhelmed. I felt lost more than ever and had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. So what did I do? I did what I knew best and what worked for me during my childhood, I leaned on food for comfort and relief and it led me into a major downward spiral. To a point of no return it felt like - I was 19 years old and pushing 300 pounds. I never thought it was going to get better - EVER! During this time, I had tried diet pills, fad diets such as: keto, herbalife, intermittent fasting, whole30,etc. You name it, I probably tried it. I was miserable - daily activities were hard for me. Existing was simply exhausting. I couldn’t even walk up a flight of stairs without being absolutely winded. Exercise was painful, my feet were swollen and my body just hurt from all of the extra weight it was carrying around.  I vividly remember my trainer trying to get me to do lunges and I could not do them - that was a major eye opening moment for me and I will never forget it. I couldn’t do a simple bodyweight movement because I was too heavy. That was my reality at 19 years old. I left that training session in tears and went home and ate my feelings of course. I didn’t think I would ever recover from where I was. I had let myself “go” and I just didn’t think a light at the end of the tunnel existed for me. I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life feeling miserable and unhappy in my body. That was until I went to my primary doctor and told her I wanted weight loss surgery. 

I had the vertical sleeve gastrectomy procedure done on July 30th, 2019 at 19 years old. The heaviest weight I ever saw on the scale was 292lbs but I KNOW for a fact it was over 300lbs at one point, I was just too scared to ever see that number so I avoided the scale at all costs. I am currently 170lbs and living my best and healthiest life both mentally and physically. Weight loss surgery has changed my life. It gave me a second chance at a life I have always wanted - like I mentioned earlier, I NEVER thought I would ever be where I am today. 

I get a lot of questions asking why I didn’t do this naturally. I did. I had tried and tried my entire life. All I really had known was the weight loss struggle - it is something I have battled with my entire life that I can remember. I had reached a point of no return and I couldn’t do simple daily tasks without pain or exhaustion. What I needed was the restriction and a ‘fresh start’ and that is exactly what VSG has given me. I had 80% of my stomach surgically removed which made it physically impossible for me to eat heaping portions of food like I was before, which resulted in rapid weight loss. I had to go through a major diet change. I have completely changed the foods I eat on a daily basis and now view food as fuel rather than a source of comfort. 

However, VSG did not fix my relationship with food. I had to do that and still have to do that for the rest of my life. Weight loss surgery is NOT a quick fix or an “easy way out”- I still have to make conscious healthy decisions every single day and not fall back into old habits - my sleeve doesn't do that for me. My sleeve doesn’t meal prep for me. My sleeve doesn’t make me go to the gym. My sleeve is just a tool. If I don’t utilize it correctly, regain is very possible and I could easily end up back where I started. It isn’t easy, in fact it is the hardest thing I have ever had to do. I had to go through a ton of appointments with health professionals in order to be approved for surgery. I had to go to nutritional classes, psych appointments, therapists, and support group meetings. During that time, I was taught different coping mechanisms for moments when I need comfort or am stressed/upset that don’t involve stuffing my face with pints of ice cream. 

I have faced failure MANY times during my journey and I still do - I still struggle at times!  I, like everyone else, have moments when I have to check myself and kick myself in the butt to get into the gym on days I don’t want to. I like to remind myself that your discipline must be greater than your motivation - ALWAYS. Nobody is motivated every single day 24/7/365. Not even the biggest and buffest bodybuilders in the world. It is just not practical. However, you can choose to make an excuse or you can choose to show up for yourself and your goals. THAT is called discipline - THAT is what is important. On day’s I am really struggling, I think back to the days when exercise was truly so challenging for me and how I felt in those moments. I switch my mindset from “I HAVE to go to the gym” to “I GET to go to the gym!” -- game changer! 

Right now I am focused on being my best self. I try to live as much of a balanced life as possible and do what works best for my body and my goals. This is super person specific - finding what works best for you and your body is KEY! This doesn’t look the same for everyone - what is sustainable for YOU and something enjoyable for you is what is best. I enjoy being able to move my body and will never take that for granted ever again - it is truly a privilege. I enjoy fueling my body with foods that are nourishing and overall I just enjoy feeling good. I feel happy. I feel proud. I am forever grateful to be where I am today - words can’t even explain! I was struggling in every way you could imagine and I came back from it. I picked myself up and changed my life - and YOU CAN TO0! You have everything it takes to change your entire life. Don’t spend your life wishing your life was a certain way - make it happen. I completely rebuilt myself from absolute rock bottom and you can too! 

If you have any further questions for me outside of this introductory blog post, please feel free to message me on instagram!  I would love to chat with you and help in any way possible! 

Follow me on socials:

Instagram & TikTok: @amyjofit